Don’t Pour Some Sugar on Me

If you had to pick the worst time of the year to try to kick the sugar habit, you just couldn’t beat the holiday season, or as it’s known in some circles, “Diabetes Month.”

I’ve been a sugar addict my entire life, but I’ve only come clean about my problem in the past 12 months. I even tried to wean myself from the drug earlier in the year, but it was before the election and I found myself so woozy, I was afraid I might accidentally vote Republican. So I nixed the sugar-free diet.

Now I’m trying again. So far, I’ve turned down fudge, gingerbread cookies, and a double salted caramel latte with amaretto. That last one took every ounce of strength I had. It helped that I had a friend handcuff my hands behind me. I would have had to have a very long straw to sip down that delicious goodness. Don’t think I didn’t Google “long straws.”

My blood sugar is still relatively low and I don’t have any real symptoms of sugar overload–well, except for the fact that hummingbirds buzz me every time I go outside because my pores ooze sweetness. But I know that I can’t keep eating cookies and cakes and pies and chocolate and did I mention cookies without suffering some kind of consequences.

So far I’ve gone two and a half days without eating any processed food with more than 3 grams  of sugar listed on the label (have you read your spaghetti sauce lately?)  I do allow myself to eat fruits and veggies that are sweet, so my kitchen compost is littered with banana peels and carrot peelings. I know this makes me a cheater in the minds of sugar ascetics, but I’m okay with that. I’ve always felt that if you set your standards low, you’ll be happier with your life.

I know that I’ll cave in soon and eat someone’s homemade holiday goodies, but so far so good. The hummingbirds and I are both happy.